Stay Gold
by WindowsDownBTR
Summary: Life came crashing down for Logan Mitchell when the boy he always loved was taken away from him. He was broken. Can a simple sunset bring both boys closer than ever before? Even though Logan can't see him, he knows he's here forever in his heart. CARGAN. Character Death.
1. Chapter 1

Logan POV

My life was falling apart right in front of my eyes. I was sitting anxiously in the waiting room of the hospital with my hands shaking and my knees ready to give out on me. I was so nervous and worried and I was crying. Just one hour ago me, my three best buds and my hockey team were playing hockey against the toughest team in the league, Deluth East. We were all having a great time, we were beating them 5-4 and we knew for sure we were going to beat them. In the end we did beat them but I didn't give a shit about that. I'm more worried about my friends life that's about to be lost! My younger friend, my lover Carlos Garcia was in a coma at the hospital. You might be wondering how he got there.

Well, It was the last 10 minutes of the third period and I was skating down the ice with the puck with two guys twice the size of me trailing behind. I tried to skate faster but they caught up to me, checked me against the boards and the puck went loose out of the grip of my hockey stick. I was okay, but the puck was soaring down the ice like a rocket, about to go into our teams net! Luckily, Carlos caught the puck with his stick and dashed towards the other teams net. He had a breakaway. The cheering from the crowds got louder and they all stood up and cheered louder than they ever did before. Our team was cheering too and we banged our stick against the boards and we were chanting "Carlos!, Carlos!, Carlos!" It was his time to shine. But you know Carlos Garcia, he's goofy, crazy and he easily looses focus. Right before he was about to shoot the puck he looked over at me, and gave a goofy grin to me. I smiled back but then I could see the biggest, toughest and roughest guy skating fiercely towards Carlos about to check him from his blind side, he was triple the size of Carlos! The cheering stopped and we were screaming at Carlos to watch out! It was too late….

"BAM!" He checked Carlos as hard as he could and he was flown off his feet, smashed into the boards and slammed down on the ice HARD. I heard 2 very loud cracks and as I looked over at Carlos, he was unconscious, his neck twisted at an awkward angle and there was blood everywhere. He was bleeding from his forehead. I was screaming as loud as I could at Carlos, praying extremely hard that he would wake up. Heck, the whole team was screaming too hoping he would wake up. I don't remember much, it was all a blur. I do remember that he was carried away on a stretcher and taken immediately taken to the hospital. The paramedics kept saying that he wasn't breathing and he might die. I was bawling like a baby. My best-friend and the boy I loved was broken, hurt and about to die.

* * *

Here I am now, still waiting to hear the news about Carlos. Kendall and James quickly got here a few minutes later, they were also crying and we all huddled together trying to calm down and tell ourselves that Carlos would be okay. He had to be. He was our little baby. I've known him since we were 4. He's only 16, still a kid. He has so much to live for, God can't take him away from us.

We all finally calmed down and suddenly the hospital doors that lead to where Carlos was slammed open and a broad, tough, doctor slowly walked through the doors and wrote something down on his clipboard.

He looked up. "Family of Carlos Garcia?"

We all stood up. "His parents are not here but we're his brothers" announced Kendall. "Is Carlos okay?" He had a very worried looked in his eyes.

There was silence. The doctor looked like he had been crying because I could see tears in his eyes.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news boys" he said in a sad tone. Everything froze.

"His neck is severely broken and his back is broken from the impact of the check and when he fell. He's paralyzed from the waist down. He'll be required to use a wheelchair if he lives"

If? IF? Is the doctor telling us Carlos might die? No, No, No. Our little Carlitos can't die. He's too young! I started crying thinking of the thought of Carlos dying. James held me close to him and he rubbed my back. He was crying too. Kendall was trying to fight back tears.

"His lungs are also damaged. It's hard for him to breathe right now. Soon, he'll slowly stop breathing. I think it's time for all of you to say your goodbyes." He turned away and walked towards Carlos's room.

We were all crying hard, even Kendall. Who rarely cries. After 10 minutes of bawling our eyes out we felt that we were calm enough to walk into Carlos's room. As we walked down the long, creepy hospital hallway we noticed the doctor and the nurse talking outside.

"How is the young boy doing now?" asked the doctor.

The nurse shook her head slowly and walked away without saying a word. This looked very serious.

The doctor turned around and saw us standing behind him. Our eyes were almost blood-shot from how much we were crying.

"He's awake now, but in very bad shape. He might not live for long." Said the doctor, who was rubbing my back. "I'll leave you four alone, c'mom Alice." He gestured at the nurse who was talking with Carlos and writing stuff down on a piece of paper to leave the room. She nodded, kissed Carlos's forehead and quickly walked out, not making any eye contact with us.


	2. Chapter 2

We all stepped into the room and walked slowly towards Carlos's bed. We were horrified. He was connected to all of these scary looking machines that made him look like a robot, he had a huge bandage covering his forehead with some blood seeping through it, a neck brace around his neck and back. His eyes were closed. He looked extremely pale like a ghost, and his caramel, Latino skin complexion was completely drained out of him. I didn't even know he was alive or not.

James sat down on a chair beside Carlos's bed and rubbed his leg. "Hey Carlitos, wake up, we're here to see you." Carlos said nothing.

Kendall frowned and looked at James. "He's paralyzed from the waist down, he can't feel his legs." Kendall rubbed Carlos's shoulder. "Carlitos wake up"

Carlos groaned and without opening his eyes he slowly whispered 'h-h-h-h-hi g-g-guys"

He sounded extremely hoarse.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I feel like shit, my neck hurts and I can't feel anything below the middle of my back" he whispered slowly

We spent about 15 minutes talking to him about the hockey game and how we won the game, we told him that we loved him a lot and when he got out of the hospital we would throw a huge party for him. We basically told him everything we could to make him feel better.

All he did was open his eyes and smile weakly. At least it was better than nothing.

There was a barely audible ring and Kendall flipped out his phone, reading a text he just received.

"Shit." He exclaimed. "My mom wants me home. Katie has a high fever and she wants me to help take care of her. I'm really sorry Carlitos. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you buddy." He stood up, waved at Carlos and quickly left the room. Carlos weakly waved back.

James slouched in the chair and then he suddenly jumped out of the chair. "Logan, my hair is limp and lifeless!" His hands flung to his hair. "I need to buy more Cuda Spray! I'll be back in 5 minutes okay guys?" I nodded. When I when to look over at James, he was gone in a flash.

It was just me & Carlos. He started to get paler every minute and it was scaring me. For about 5 minutes I held his hand and sang Cover Boy to him. It made him feel happy and he was smiling more. He felt loved.

Suddenly Carlos was silently crying with tears pouring down his chubby cheeks.

"L-Logie.. I don't want to die now. I'm too young. I'm sixteen, that's not long enough. There's so much in the world that I've never seen or done. It's not fair.

My heart shattered into a million pieces.

"Carlitos don't cry" I said as I wiped his tears away with my thumb. "You won't die"

"Logan, look at me. I'm a cripple, I can barely move, I can barely breathe, I'm getting weaker and paler every minute, I will die."

I was silent. I didn't know what else to say. Maybe Carlos was right….but I didn't want to believe him.

His eyes were closed now. His breathing was light and weak; he gripped my hand as tight as he could. He looked miserable.

"L-L-L-L-Logan…." I looked at Carlos. I could barely hear what he was saying.

"L-L-L-Lean into m-m-me"

I did what he told me. My head was rested against his chest and all I could hear was his breathing getting weaker and weaker. My ear was close to his mouth. I listened to hear what he was going to say next.

"Stay gold, Logan. Stay gold." His tiny body sunk into the pillow. He was dead.

"Fuck no, Carlos. No, No. No! Oh Carlos!" I was about to hyperventilate, tears fell down my cheeks and I pushed Carlos's short black hair back. "Don't die Carlos, oh, please don't die, please don't die….I love you buddy.

My whole world had fallen apart and it was broken. I felt like my heart was stomped and crushed into millions and millions of pieces. I cried as hard as I could against Carlos's chest. He was gone. My little Carlitos was gone, forever.

I heard footsteps walk up to the door. It was James. "Hey guys, I'm back and I got my-"He was cut off when he saw me crying against Carlos's chest and Carlos paler than ever before and not breathing. He knew what happened. He joined in with me. His life came crashing down too.

_1 week later. _

I picked up my lucky pen that was sitting at my desk, grabbed my notebook that was laying on the floor, sat down at my desk, flipped open to a fresh page and started writing.

_Dear Diary,_

_It's me, Logan, here again. Its day 7. It's the seventh day without Carlos. One full week without Carlos. I'm dying inside. I need him with me right now. I miss him so much and I love him. I need my happy, fun loving Carlos. My life has completely changed. I cry myself to sleep every night, I barely eat & I became depressed, almost to the point of cutting myself. Why am I doing this to myself? This isn't me. I know that I do this because I miss Carlos. I love him more than a friend. I wanted to marry him when we were older and have a nice happy family. It was going to be a fairy tale. But it will never happen. Fairy tales are full of shit. _

_Anyway, Today was Carlos's funeral. Everyone was there, Kendall & James, his family, our families and all of his friends. He had so much people who cared about him. He was laid to rest. Today. He could now live peacefully in heaven. He was safe now. Safe in a better place._

I was going to continue writing about how much life sucks and how I wished I could be up in heaven with Carlos right now but I didn't have the strength to do it. I forced myself not to cry again like I did for the millionth time this week. I threw the notebook against the wall along with the pen. I laid down on my comfy bed and stuffed a pillow in my face. I want this pain to go away.

Then there was a knock at my door.


	3. Chapter 3

My mom entered the room without me telling her to come in and she was holding a piece of paper in her hands.

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" She sat down on my bed and rubbed my shoulder.

"I feel like shit."

"Awww Logie. Look, I know you miss Carlos, I do too. He was a very sweet, polite and kind boy, It's a shame he left so soon, but I have something to cheer you up."

She held up the note. "A woman from the hospital wanted to give you this note. She said that her name was Alice or something like that."

A woman from the hospital named Alice? Of course! She was the nurse that was with Carlos and writing stuff down on her clipboard!

* * *

_Flashback_

"_He's awake now, but in very bad shape. He might not live for long." Said the doctor, who was rubbing my back. "I'll leave you four alone, c'mom Alice." He gestured at the nurse who was talking with Carlos and writing stuff down on a piece of paper to leave the room. She nodded, kissed Carlos's forehead and quickly walked out, not making any eye contact with us. _

_End of Flashback_

* * *

I sat up and looked at the note that my mom was holding up. "I remember who Alice was, She was a nurse who was at the hospital. She was writing something down on a piece of paper."

My mom nodded. "Yes Logan, This piece of paper was what she was writing down, Before Carlos died, he told Alice that he wanted to write a note to you but he was too weak to write it. He told Alice what he wanted to say to you and she wrote it down. I'll leave you alone with it."

She gave me the note, kissed my forehead, smiled and walked out of the room. I smiled too. A note from Carlos. He wrote a note for me before he died. I slowly opened it up and read what it said.

* * *

_Dear Logan,_

_Hi Logan, It's Carlos. That hockey accident I had was painful. I can't move my neck and my back. I'm paralyzed from the waist down. I can't play hockey with you guys anymore because I'm stuck in a wheelchair. Maybe we could play air-hockey instead? Sorry for going off topic. I was trying to make myself feel better. But look at me, I'm broken. I'm not going to live for very long. I heard the doctors talking. They said I was going to die very soon. It broke my heart, but I knew it was true. I asked Alice to write down everything I wanted to say to you. By the time you read this, I'm probably dead but hey, I'm watching over you, so I'm always with you. _

_My last words were "Stay Gold" right? I planned on saying that to you before I died. But if I didn't, do you remember that sunset we saw a few month ago out on the open field, Wow, that was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life. Thanks for bringing me out to show me it; it made me see a brighter side of life. And the poem you told me, the one by Robert Frost, the message was that you're gold when you're a kid, like green. When you're a kid, everything is new, like dawn. It's just when you get used to everything that it's day. Like the way you like sunsets, that's gold. Keep it that way. It's a good way to be. Remember, whenever you watch a sunset, I'll be there watching it with you, even though you can't see me. I didn't write a note to Kendall or James because they don't understand what we do. It's like our own special connection we have. I know that you love me, and I love you too. I just never told you that, until now. Don't try to do anything stupid. It would break my heart to see you hurt. I'll always be there for you. _

_I love you so much Logan, Never forget that, Stay Gold._

_Your Good Friend and Lover,_

_Carlos Geraldo Garcia._

* * *

When I finished reading the note I was in tears. He loved me. He loved me even though he never had the guts to admit it. I felt proud to say that I changed Carlos's life forever in a positive way and it was depressing that he died at a young age. He had so much to live for. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew he was always with me. I was thinking about cutting to try and end my endless pain but I made a promise to Carlos to not hurt myself and do anything stupid. He will help me get through this. When he said "Stay Gold," It touched my heart. I'll always stay gold for Carlos.

* * *

_Future_

We continued Big Time Rush without Carlos but we knew he was right by our sides even though we couldn't see him. It felt like Three Time Rush without Carlos. We did complete some amazing goals during our time. We created 5 album, #1 on the Billboard Top 100, be on the front cover of Rolling Stones magazine 5 times and all of our albums went platinum including the albums BTR & Elevate. The albums that Carlos sang in. But that was ages and ages ago. We separated many years ago because of our differences and other dreams we had besides become a famous band. James wanted to become a professional model and create a famous line of perfumes, hairsprays etc. Kendall wanted to continue his dream to play centre for the Minnesota Wild in the NHL and after that he wanted to become a famous movie director. For me, I continued my dream to become a doctor. All of our dreams came true. James moved to New York, Kendall stayed in LA & I went back to Minnesota to continue school and become a doctor. That was ages ago too.

We had our own families now. Kendall married Jo Taylor a few years after she left New Zealand and came back to LA to spend time with Kendall. They grew up happily with 5 children. 2 twin boys and three girls. Surprisingly, James married the rocker chick Lucy Stone and they moved out of LA to New York to peruse their dreams. Lucy eventually became extremely famous and toured across the world. She's known as "The Greatest Rocker Chick To Ever Live". They had 2 wonderful children. One boy and one girl.

Me? Nah. I never got married. I never got married because I loved Carlos. Carlos was my husband even though he was dead, but he was right here next to me. It might seem crazy but it's not. It's true love. I had adopted one son to raise and keep me company because I didn't have a spouse who was alive. His name was Julian but his nickname was Carlos. We spent tons of time together and every day when it was nice we would walk over to the field that was a few minutes away from house and watch the sunrise. We went to the same field that me and Carlos went to one late summers day. Sometimes I could feel something tap my shoulder, but it wasn't Julian. I said that it was Carlos telling me that he was here but maybe it was my imagination acting up? Who knows? But yet again, that was ages ago. Julian is all grown up now, moved away from Minnesota, married to a beautiful girl and had wonderful kids. Same with Kendall & James's kids. Since Julian had left me, I had been continuing the tradition of watching the sunrise every nice morning.

One morning, I laid down on the grass carefully, despite the wrinkly & delicate shape my old self was in and watched the sunrise. Today I felt weaker than usual, I didn't know why but I guess that's why happens when you become an old man. There was the usual. A thick gold line crossing the horizon, the clouds changing from gray to pink and the mist was touched was gold. The sun rose, and lit up everything. It was beautiful. Suddenly everything got quiet. The birds that usually chirped stopped and the light sound of the breeze was silent. I felt something tap my shoulder, but nobody was there. I might be getting delirious or that was Carlos giving me a signal that he was here. I glanced at the sunset. I loved the sunsets. They were the most precious piece of earth that god had gave to us. I started feeling more weak and tired, was this normal? Then in a very audible sound I heard somebody say "Stay Gold Logan, Stay Gold." I turned around, and nobody was there! I knew that it wasn't my imagination this time. It was Carlos. He was here.

I got even more tired, and I closed my eyes. I kept hearing that voice saying "Stay Gold." It kept saying that until my body sank into the grass, It kept saying that until it was my time to go.

It was amazing what happened next. I was all alone in a white, misty room. I was turned back into the 16 year old Logan Mitchell that I had once been and I wearing all white clothes. I was confused at first, I didn't know what happened. I looked down and I could see where my dead was, lying peacefully in the grass. I then realized I was in heaven. My body was dead but my soul was here in heaven. I quickly thought about Carlos. I'm here with Carlos. Where is he? Suddenly a figure walked slowly towards me, it was dark at first but when it came out of the mist, It was Carlos. My beautiful and lovely Carlos that I lost over 70 years ago was here with me. He was wearing white clothes too, his neck and back were not in a brace and he was walking!

He walked up to me and smiled. "I'm glad you're here Logan, or should I say Mr. Garcia. Stay Gold." He held my hand tightly, kissed my lips and we walked away together into the dark mist…..We were here to stay together, forever.

We were gold, forever.


End file.
